I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
