I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
