Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
