I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
