Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Holy shit dude........stairs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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