So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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