I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
