Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she looked like the before picture.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
