I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
