Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
