And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
