Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
