Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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