why didn't you poke me back
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
