some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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