I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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