I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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