I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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