His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i dont even know how to be here
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
