Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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