Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
