I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I am available for nakedness
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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