just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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