with your own penis?
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
