i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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