let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
