Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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