some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
