dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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