Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
