wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
