my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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