one might say we're banned from that church
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
