sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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