Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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