I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
time to smoke my breakfast
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He felt like a one man threesome
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
