i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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