So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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