I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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