I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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