she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
