if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
