you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
