he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
