why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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