After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
