At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
