Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
