Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
