Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
