with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
