his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
