My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
